Life Guard saves...

Fun fact - I don't know how to swim. Deathly afraid of water, unless it's in a cup then I'm fine. I take risks like kayaking on the ocean hoping and praying I won't tip over, or going to the pool and swimming as long as my feet are touching the floor, and even using a life jacket. #kidsdontfloat Half the time it's because all my friends are doing it and I want to be a part of the cool group.

If you haven't noticed any of my instagram pictures, or facebook, I upload pictures of Malibu Club probably atleast once a month. I was lucky enough to have spent a whole month serving with the coolest people on earth in the Summer of 2013. We had the chance to spend the day in the ocean, aka water that never ends and my feet can't touch the ground, on one of our day offs since we worked so hard in the 85 degree weather (dude, that's wayyy hot for someone who lives in AK). I figured I should put on a life jacket even if I knew I wouldn't jump in, but I knew someone would eventually try to push me in the water. There were so much going on, kayaking, caribe, and cooling off in the water.

"Dolena, jump in!" said everyone on the the dock. I was afraid, my feet can't touch the ground so it was an automatic no. But they never stopped bothered me to jump in until they eventually pushed me on the caribe. Which looked a little bit like this...

As you can see, I'm screaming my lungs out and was already thinking of how am I going to get back up if I can't swim? So what's the point of this whole caribe thing? There are 5 people, and the caribe is dragged by a boat. When the boat turns, all 5 people have to lean the way the boat turns, otherwise it'll flip over. When it did flip, everyone let go. Except me. I was holding on and screaming under water. I never wanted to let go. I was too scared that I would never be at the top of the water. Eventually, I did let go. GUYS I WAS AT THE TOP OF THE WATER, and my feet weren't touching the ground (good thing I used that life jacket). I was on the other side of everyone else because the driver had to drive around to pick us up. Then ofcourse after I got the hang of this whole thing, I started enjoying the next couple rounds of riding the caribe.

"No more dark, no more hiding, no more caves. What's the point of all this, to follow the light. " - The Croods

God gives us so many opportunities and it can be pretty scary to jump in the water because your feet can't touch the ground. Summer 2013 was when I first left Alaska, actually I even left America. Who knew there was an airport(Seattle airport) so huuuge it's 100 times bigger than the village you grew up in? So many people, so much rush, so terrifying. I went from knowing everybody in my town, to absolutely nobody. In a whole month, strangers became family, I gained a real relationship with God that I never knew was even possible. So when God has something for you, it's worth the jump.

Even if I could swim, I'd be a bad life guard anyways.

Leap of Faith

This last week was a really crappy week, for me atleast. So much stress over having to get a passport but not having the things I need to get it, all the homework I need(ed) to do, and just being dry about life. It was a looooooooooong week. Nothing to look forward to, and avoiding homework (don't worry guys, I did my homework). Except that our basketball team won our first game this past Friday! Only took us 3 games to get off the loser list! 

 

On Saturday, I went on a road trip to Anchorage with a few other students to speak with kids at the Sunday School at Change Point Church. It was a long three hour drive. So much jokes, screaming lyrics of songs playing on the radio, and lots of laughter. Over the weekend I was supposed  to get my stuff to get my passport, but they were misplaced, or lost. So that was a bummer, huge downer for a fun weekend spent with great friends. There goes my spring break to Mexico... Also since I don't have a phone, all my friends phones was what I used to get a hold of my family. 

Sunday afternoon, my mom decided last minute to make a one night trip home. Perks of working with airlines, travel on standby. Not only did I go to look for what I needed for my passport, I also got to see my nieces and nephews. I even got a good home-cooked meal. So good to see family. Looked and looked and looked....no where to be found. I'm flying out on the evening flight to Anchorage, and all I got from my trip home is good food and my baby fix. As I'm ready to check in, I get a call from my brother that they found my identification to get my passport! Then I check my email, I got even more exciting news, I got a spot for Summer Staff at Malibu!! I get to serve for a month at a beautiful Young Life camp in Canada! 

"Surrounded by people, but drowning in solitude." - Merideth Grey, Grey's Anatomy

There are a million people in the world, yet you can still feel alone. Crazy how that works. You can go and be a millionaire, drink alcohol, try to fill that void, but nothing just seems to do it. That's where God comes. I think that this past week was a huge reminder to let go of myself, and let God work. So many times we get carried away by life's chaos, and we get so overwhelmed we can't do anything about it. It's hard, but faith definitely has it's ways. 

So much love for this baby.

Surprise visit

I'M COMING BACK FOR A MONTH!!

.....so many things, not enough time.

Cramming homework, watching show after show after show on Netflix, barely making it to class on time, not getting enough caffeine to make it through the day, breaking the law, and losing my phone. Just kidding about breaking the law, but everything else is on the dot.

I've been kind of throwing homework on the side and running away from school, not literally, but laying in bed and pretty much dazing off into another world. I've actually been thinking of what it would be like if I grew up with both my grandmother's. One lived in Kipnuk, where my family lived, I was really close with my grandma on my mom's side who lived in Kwig, 15 min out of Kipnuk. Not that I was picky, they both spoiled and loved my siblings/cousins and I. I remember quite a bit about them. I especially loved running to one of them because I knew they couldn't say no. Who's grandma says no? But I was probably like, 5 or 6, I lost both of them to cancer. It wasn't long after one died the other did. I didn't know what was going on for a long time, not knowing I would never see them again.

Life has a way of really getting at you. Doesn't have to be anything big, just a bunch of little things. There's been a lot going these last couple days. I lost my phone....no it was stolen. I wasn't very upset about it except for all the cool pictures I had. Other than that, it's brought me to realize that so many of our lives are consumed by a device, we are on it ALL THE TIME. We get so attached to our phone, we forget how to have a conversation outside of the real world. We're so busy checking instagram, sending out selfies on snapchat, or just checking facebook every 5 seconds. Maybe I need this break from my phone, maybe you do too.

I was never influenced by alcohol growing up, and I'm thankful my parents never drank raising us. Coming to college, considering it's a Christian college, something in me thought I won't be around it. But it's COLLEGE, and what college student isn't going to party? Me. But everyone else probably isn't in the same boat as I am. A lot has happened where alcohol was included, and probably a lot of it wasn't good. It's hard seeing your friends drinking and running away from their problems with alcohol. It's hard to be an outsider, I'll probably go to the bar on my 21st birthday, get a beer, a root beer. #turndownforwhat. Probably with a side of icecream. Usually when life is too overwhelming for me to handle, I just run away. I seek adventure. If only that solved all my problems, and did my homework. Anyways.....I probably should stop writing and finish this assignment that's due in T-2 hours. And drown myself in coffee...no need to be concerned.

Crowding grandma, my brother Dolan(boy in the white), granmda Dolly, and I all shared birthdays. Everyone just wanted to fit in. How do I feel about this?...

I could use a little adventure.